Not everyone will want or need to write their
own book, but if you are now reading this, you probably have a desire to find
a way to tell your own story. It is from that place you should start –
the story you know so well.
Don’t worry about where it ends or what form it eventually takes, just
start to write.
But first some words of advice. This journey is unlike any other. Before we
experience a significant loss in our lives, most of us do what we can to avoid
feelings of pain and hurt. If certain thoughts or actions cause us pain, we
typically at least try to adjust our thoughts and/or behaviors to avoid the
hurt. This journey through grief will not work that way. In order to heal
you need to process your loss, and pain is part of that process. Should you
choose to write your story, it will likely be the most difficult thing you
have ever chosen to do. It is good to keep this in mind as you begin.
Also, you will need a strong sense of purpose to persevere. Make sure
you know why you are choosing this road Fix this purpose in your heart and
mind. If you are really serious, tell others what you are doing. Pick one
or more people in your circle to hold you accountable to the goal you have
set for yourself.
But in the end, give yourself permission to take this journey in your own
unique way. Write in the time and space that works best for you. Still holding
that thought, here are some possible topics to help you get started:
What did we get right
in our relationship and what did we get wrong?
My favorite memories
of you are...
Your qualities I most
Apologies: I want to
tell you I am sorry
Thank you's I didn’t tell you (or tell you enough)
Regrets: If only...
Questions for the one
Questions for God
This I Believe (From
a 1950's NPR radio program wherein people from all walks of life shared
the personal philosophies and core values that guided their daily lives)
There will be times
when you are either stuck or simply feeling that you cannot keep going.
You may find the following
ideas and suggestions helpful at such times:
Use pictures, cards to
jog your memory and to evoke themes. Simply record the facts write biography
without the pressure of commentary. Ask others to share their stories
you are not alone in your grief. Write anyway put judgment aside
and commit a time slot. Come back to your why, to your purpose.